Kevin the Cashier Goes to a Sleep Number Store

Kevin the Cashier Goes to a Sleep Number Store


– ONE OF MY FAVORITE SEGMENTS
ON THIS SHOW IS “KEVIN THE CASHIER,”
PLAYED BY ADAM. IT’S WHERE I SEND
MY WRITER ADAM OUT TO PLAY A CASHIER NAMED KEVIN. AND THIS TIME WE SENT HIM
ALL THE WAY TO THE MALL OF AMERICA
IN MINNEAPOLIS. HE DRESSED AS
A SLEEP NUMBER EMPLOYEE. AND HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED. – [singing]
KEVIN THE CASHIER PLAYED BY ADAM [upbeat percussive music] – HI, HOW ARE YOU GUYS
DOING TODAY? – GOOD.
– GOOD. MY NAME’S KEVIN. HAVE YOU TRIED
THE SLEEP NUMBER BED BEFORE? HERE, I’LL SHOW YOU
HOW IT WORKS. IF YOU LAY DOWN
ON THIS BED HERE– YOU CAN LAY DOWN ON THIS SIDE. ALL RIGHT, IF YOU GUYS WANT
TO ENJOY IT FOR A LITTLE BIT, I WILL LOOK OVER THIS WAY,
AND, YOU KNOW, LET YOU DO YOUR OWN BUSINESS. – [laughs] – LET ME SEE IF I CAN JUMP
IN BETWEEN YOU GUYS HERE AND SEE IF I CAN FEEL THIS. FEEL GOOD. A BIG HAPPY FAMILY. SO WE LOOK UP AT THE CEILING, AND THEN… – A LOT OF TIMES, LIKE, OLDER
MATTRESSES WILL MAKE NOISE. LIKE, MY NEIGHBORS HAVE
AN OLD MATTRESS, AND SOMETIMES AT NIGHT,
IT’LL BE LIKE… [imitates bed squeaking] IT’S VERY AWKWARD. – NO, RIGHT NOW,
WE’RE JUST LAYING HERE. – [laughs] – YOU’RE LOOKING
FOR SOME PILLOWS? DO YOU WANT TO LIE DOWN? IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT,
THIS IS A FIRM ONE THERE. AND THEN THE WAY–
IF YOU WANT TO TEST IT OUT, YOU SHOULD RAISE THE POSTURE
TO TEST IT OUT. THE BEST WAY IS TO RAISE
THIS ARM UP ABOVE YOUR HEAD. THAT WAY. YEAH, LIKE UP, LIKE
YOU’RE REACHING WAY UP. BRING THIS UP. AND THEN IF YOU WANT
TO STICK THIS LEG OUT OFF THE END OF THE BED. THERE WE GO. AND THEN IF YOU PUT THIS LEG
BACK AS FAR AS YOU CAN. THERE YOU GO. HOW DOES THAT FEEL? – IT FEELS ALL RIGHT? AND THEN IF YOU’RE JUST GONNA
GET COMFORTABLE THERE. YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES. “‘TIME FOR BED, SLEEPY HEAD,’
CALLED MOMMY. ‘BUT I’M NOT TIRED,’
LITTLE RABBIT CRIED.” AND HERE’S A PICTURE
OF THE RABBIT. THIS IS OUR LATEST MEMORY FOAM
MATTRESS HERE IF ONE OF YOU GUYS JUST WANT TO
LAY DOWN ON EITHER SIDE HERE. I’LL SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS. IF YOU JUST WANT TO ROLL OVER. AND THEN IF YOU ROLL
ONTO YOUR BACKS. LAY ON YOUR SIDES. AND THEN IF YOU LAY
ON YOUR OTHER SIDE. AND THEN IF YOU WANT TO ROLL ALL
THE WAY OVER AND JUST COME BACK
TO THAT SAME SIDE AGAIN. AND YOU STAY STILL, AND YOU JUST ROLL ACROSS
INTO HER. THERE YOU GO. AND THEN IF YOU BOTH ROLL
TOGETHER BACK ALL THE WAY TO THIS SIDE. SO SEE HOW THE MEMORY FOAM IS? THEY CAN TAKE ALMOST ANYTHING. JUST JUMP ON IT AS HARD
AS YOU WANT. SO HOW MANY CAN I
PUT YOU DOWN FOR? IF YOU MOVE OVER
A LITTLE BIT THERE… YOU KNOW, YOU’LL BE THE SPOON
IN THE MIDDLE. – OH. – THERE WE GO. IF YOU WANT TO GET THAT SIDE, I CAN TAKE IT UP TO THE REGISTER
TO SCAN IT. THIS IS A REALLY GOOD MATTRESS. I MADE MY TWINS ON THIS BED. THIS BED IS GREAT FOR SPOONING. – WE’LL TALK NUMBERS LATER. RIGHT NOW WE’LL TALK
SLEEP NUMBERS. [snoring] – WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS– YOU GUYS–DID YOU GUYS WANT
TO BUY THE BED? – NO, BABY.
– YOU WANT TO SPOON MORE? DO YOU GUYS EVER WATCH
ELLEN DEGENERES? IF YOU LOOK AT THE CAMERA
RIGHT THERE, YOU’RE ON “THE ELLEN DEGENERES
SHOW” RIGHT NOW. I DON’T REALLY WORK HERE. [laughter] I WORK FOR ELLEN. JUST WAVE AND SAY HI TO ELLEN. – THANK YOU GUYS
FOR BEING GOOD SPORTS. AWESOME. [cheers and applause] – I GOT TO CALL THAT GUY. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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